I. Love. Birthdays. Especially those of the people who are dearest to me and of course, my own. It is fun for this sappy person to soak in this day the thought that God has allowed me to live another year. I mean it. I don't take for granted that I am alive this day. Just ask those who are closest to me...I am a bit morbid in my soberness towards life, but hey, that's who I am and I am thankful to the One Who is the giver of all good things to be alive!!! In Him, I live and move and have my being! He gives me life and breath and everything as the Scriptures declare!!!
I love to write. It is therapeutic to me, like exercise is...so as a gift to myself I am taking the time to do something I really enjoy!
Here are 37 random facts, thoughts or meditations that I have thought on this year...
Most important things I have learned spiritually:
1. I am more wicked than I could ever know
2. God loves me more than I can imagine and it has nothing to do with what I have or have not done.
3. I have idols in my life that God is shining light on more and more...things that I love too much.
4. God isn't angry with me or waiting to pounce on me when I do wrong. He is longing to have mercy on me and calling me back to Him.
5. When God looks at me, He sees Christ and His righteousness and Christ is my only hope. That knowledge has set me free from living under the weight of trying to please Him. He is already satisfied with Christ and I am covered by His blood.
Personal reflections:
6. I have grey hair, I am heavier than I want to be, I have many physical injuries that make my body hurt
7. But having no grey, being thin and uninjured cannot bring me the happiness that I once thought it could.
8. I have had to learn to enjoy walking for exercise because the pain in my body will not let me run, but this has made me thankful to be able to merely walk at all!
9. Having a clean house is great, but having having fun with family and friends is far better. I am learning to die to the need to have everything just so.
10. I am learing that it doesn't matter if people like me or not...idolizing that Is dying in my life. I am far more loved by God than I can I agine and that is enough!! Amen!
Favorite songs that I have listened to over and over this year:
11. Wonderful, christy nockels
12. Known, Audrey Assad
13. I will rise, Hillsong
14. I Shall Not Want, Audrey Assad
15. Eyes on the Prize, Sara Groves
16. I Look to You, Whitney Houston
Preachers that I would not be the same without:
17. Matt Chandler
18. Mike Sherrett
19. Tim Keller
20. Alistair Begg
Random things...
21. My mom is the best girlfriend I have
22. I like to listen to the group Pentantonix
23. My favorite things to watch are episodes of Locked Up Abroad and I Shouldn't Be Alive in Netflix
24. I am more in love with my husband now than ever
25. My body definitely feels older, but I still feel very young inside...
26. My kids are awesome!
27. Coffee is pretty much a necessity ; )
10 events from this year
28. I flew to Texas and visited with my brother and his family, by myself for a week!
29. My children had 2 bouts of lice, disgusting...most overwhelming "illness" we have faced
30. We went in our first family bike ride with everyone on their own bike!!! So fun!
31. Mark got a new job that he really likes
32. My brother gave us a family vehicle because we did not have one!
33. My precious Nana went home to be with be Lord!
34. I officially homeschool all Five of my children.
35. We love our church, are learning so much and have made some precious new friends there.
36. We didn't do any construction on our house this year...that is amazing.
37. I had a great 37th birthday, full of love, presents and feeling special!! I am happy to be one year older and I think, by the grace of God, one year wiser :)
My God, I thank You for my life. Take my life....
Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love;
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee,
Swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing
Always, only, for my King;
Take my lips, and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee,
Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold;
Not a mite would I withhold;
Take my intellect, and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose,
Every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will, and make it Thine;
It shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart; it is Thine own;
It shall be Thy royal throne,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love; my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure-store.
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee,
Ever, only, all for Thee.
Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/h/445#ixzz2kImuBmxv
Spurred on by the Spirit and others to write...my heart, my struggles, my life, my chaos, and to find that EVERYTHING is SACRED...finding the sacred in the chaos of real life, for the glory of God.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
My thoughts and encouragement on homeschooling
I am posting this letter that I wrote to a friend's inquiry of my thoughts on being able to successfully homeschool 5 children. She suggested that I share this as a blog post in hopes to encourage other moms who need encouragement, guidance or ...whatever : ) These are only my "thoughts". I am no expert. This is my experience. I hope if you need encouragement it will bless you, on a hard day or in the beginning as you wonder if this could even be a possibility in the life of your family. Blessings ~Theresa xo
"Wow, homeschooling..., it is definitely a very challenging thing that brings me to my knees and makes me feel my need of Christ all the more. First, I think you have to know WHY you want to do it? Ask yourself, your husband the question: WHY am I considering homeschooling? This answer will help propel you through difficulties...if your answer is because you want to disciple your children, because you want to have the ability to decide what they learn and do not learn, because you want to teach them to love learning and to love God simultaneously, this motivation will propel you through what will be some very challenging days.
Another thing that you have to remember is that homeschooling is not going to look like regular school, I have to remind myself of this all the time. It may look like 10 minutes of reading with the 5 year old and send them off to color or do an activity at the table and then 15 minutes of math with the 7 year old and then send them to read a chapter book for a little while. Then you go and sit on the floor and read to the little ones and build blocks for 20 minutes...school is a climate of learning in your home. It isn't going to always be what we may have known of school in the public realm or the private for that matter either. School has to have a plan, but you make the rules. If your kids are learning and learning to learn, you are doing them a wonderful service. And furthermore if you are talking about Christ as you sit, as you stand, as you walk along the way, you are doing them an even greater service. Teaching them to love and know Christ is a huge gift.
[Please don't get me wrong here. I do not believe that homeschooling is the only choice for a Christian family and that you you couldn't disciple or love your child if you send them to school. I think loving and discipling children looks different in every family}
Another very important thing to remember is that alot of your life is already "school". The library visits, making cookies, making bread, teaching chores around the house. These things add up to making useful and profitable people who will go out into society and add to it in a lovely way. You MUST FOCUS only on a couple things in the early years and leave the rest alone. Teaching the children to read and do math is essential. Everything else in the early years up to 4 th or 5th grade is extra. READ, READ, READ. Read to the kids, let them get books that they like at the library. Listen to books on CD, talk to them about what they are reading...reading in a home creates smart children. Whatever interests them, get a book and have them read it or if they can't read it to them, or have one of the kids who can read, read it to them. Reading is the largest part of school. It may not "look" like school, but just reading is benefiting your children in a million ways.
MOST IMPORTANTLY is to seek CHRIST. Nothing happens in my home except from the grace of GOD. Truly, I could not do this without Him. Begging Him in the morning to help me. Reading a scripture with my coffee. Bowing my head when things get absolutely crazy here. Seeking Christ is essential and the worth of it is immeasurable. He helps me so much. Those who wait on the LORD WILL renew their strength.
Homeschooling is hard for me, but I am doing it because I believe it to be a worthy cause with priceless dividends. You will need Christ immensely and you will need to ask Him, what needs to be done and what does not each day. Trying too hard to fill a day with school work when you have lots of little people around will not be a super peaceful home. It will take trial and error. But teach your children lots of Scripture at meal times, sing songs, talk about Christ and read as much as you can. WHen things get really rough and crazy, stop, take time to tickle, give them a break and put on a learning video, put on classical music and take out the blocks and crayons and just sit. Go for a walk or a ride in the car and put a book on CD in the player...drink in Christ so that you will be a "stream to feed the garden" of your children. HE CAN HELP YOU.
Ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give.
If I can be of any practical assistance to you, come over one night and I can show you what I use and we can talk about some practical pieces to simplifying your school life...I am not a pro, but I have been doing it for a long time now and I know THE ONE Who can help ; ) Let me know how I can serve you. I will pray for you in this big decision. God will give you grace for whatever you choose. xoxo"
"Wow, homeschooling..., it is definitely a very challenging thing that brings me to my knees and makes me feel my need of Christ all the more. First, I think you have to know WHY you want to do it? Ask yourself, your husband the question: WHY am I considering homeschooling? This answer will help propel you through difficulties...if your answer is because you want to disciple your children, because you want to have the ability to decide what they learn and do not learn, because you want to teach them to love learning and to love God simultaneously, this motivation will propel you through what will be some very challenging days.
Another thing that you have to remember is that homeschooling is not going to look like regular school, I have to remind myself of this all the time. It may look like 10 minutes of reading with the 5 year old and send them off to color or do an activity at the table and then 15 minutes of math with the 7 year old and then send them to read a chapter book for a little while. Then you go and sit on the floor and read to the little ones and build blocks for 20 minutes...school is a climate of learning in your home. It isn't going to always be what we may have known of school in the public realm or the private for that matter either. School has to have a plan, but you make the rules. If your kids are learning and learning to learn, you are doing them a wonderful service. And furthermore if you are talking about Christ as you sit, as you stand, as you walk along the way, you are doing them an even greater service. Teaching them to love and know Christ is a huge gift.
[Please don't get me wrong here. I do not believe that homeschooling is the only choice for a Christian family and that you you couldn't disciple or love your child if you send them to school. I think loving and discipling children looks different in every family}
Another very important thing to remember is that alot of your life is already "school". The library visits, making cookies, making bread, teaching chores around the house. These things add up to making useful and profitable people who will go out into society and add to it in a lovely way. You MUST FOCUS only on a couple things in the early years and leave the rest alone. Teaching the children to read and do math is essential. Everything else in the early years up to 4 th or 5th grade is extra. READ, READ, READ. Read to the kids, let them get books that they like at the library. Listen to books on CD, talk to them about what they are reading...reading in a home creates smart children. Whatever interests them, get a book and have them read it or if they can't read it to them, or have one of the kids who can read, read it to them. Reading is the largest part of school. It may not "look" like school, but just reading is benefiting your children in a million ways.
MOST IMPORTANTLY is to seek CHRIST. Nothing happens in my home except from the grace of GOD. Truly, I could not do this without Him. Begging Him in the morning to help me. Reading a scripture with my coffee. Bowing my head when things get absolutely crazy here. Seeking Christ is essential and the worth of it is immeasurable. He helps me so much. Those who wait on the LORD WILL renew their strength.
Homeschooling is hard for me, but I am doing it because I believe it to be a worthy cause with priceless dividends. You will need Christ immensely and you will need to ask Him, what needs to be done and what does not each day. Trying too hard to fill a day with school work when you have lots of little people around will not be a super peaceful home. It will take trial and error. But teach your children lots of Scripture at meal times, sing songs, talk about Christ and read as much as you can. WHen things get really rough and crazy, stop, take time to tickle, give them a break and put on a learning video, put on classical music and take out the blocks and crayons and just sit. Go for a walk or a ride in the car and put a book on CD in the player...drink in Christ so that you will be a "stream to feed the garden" of your children. HE CAN HELP YOU.
Ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give.
If I can be of any practical assistance to you, come over one night and I can show you what I use and we can talk about some practical pieces to simplifying your school life...I am not a pro, but I have been doing it for a long time now and I know THE ONE Who can help ; ) Let me know how I can serve you. I will pray for you in this big decision. God will give you grace for whatever you choose. xoxo"
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
The Answer for Every Longing Heart
Do you ever wonder why your heart always seems to be longing for something? Maybe you haven't noticed, but if you start to think about it, you are probably hoping something in your life would change. I know that I have lots of longings. I have lots of things that I wish were just so...but they are not. Ummm...let me give some examples, I wish that I didn't ever get angry at my children, or that I don't lose patience when someone cuts me off the road. How about my unending desire to be thinner, just the size I think I should be...or that I would look so beautiful and my husband would be in awe over me ; ) lol...well, I actually do wish that sometimes (he is very sweet to me, don't get me wrong). But don't you have these ideals in your head? These thoughts and longings for things to be "just the way you were hoping" them to be?!
If I am perfectly honest, I want my life to be smooth, without pain, inconvenience...I want my relationships to be perfect and ideal. I long for my body to be thinner, healthier and in less pain. I want my crazy hot flashes to go away and I want that pretty much yesterday ; ) I don't want to have to deal with sin issues in my life, my children's lives, family members lives or friends' lives. I don't want people to hurt my feelings. I don't want to watch a friend suffer with illness, I don't want someone I love to die...Let's just be honest, (and I am not even a dreamer kind of person), I have lots and lots of longings for things that won't ever be fulfilled this side of eternity. You have lots of longings that will never be filled here on earth.
Why is this the case? Why are we, way down deep, dissatisfied? It's because a long time ago sin entered the world and ever since then we try to fill the chasm that sin created. The world is not perfect, so it will dissapoint. Even people like me, who know and trust in Christ, have these sin-sick hearts that want to be filled and we search for fulfillment in things that can't fully satisfy. The things we want aren't necessarily wrong, they just won't usually happen for us in this imperfect place. Only One can satisfy the longings deep down in our souls.
Knowing that Christ made a way for me to get to God is amazing and everyday I seek to know and love Him more. But I have realized, my real longings, the deep desires of my heart won't be fully satisfied until the day I meet Him face to face. Oh how I long for that day! God's Word says that we will bow down and confess that He is Lord. I long to sing His praises forever. And you know what? In Revelations, the Bible says,
Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven... And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” Rev. 21
Yep, that is what I am longing for...the day when my faith will be made sight. The day when I won't be longing for anything. My sin will be gone, death will be conquered, Satan will be vanquished, everything I could have ever wanted will be fulfilled, because I and all of creation will finally be made completely new. No more pain, no more TEARS...ahhhhhh, can't even imagine. But that's where my hope is. Oh glorious day when sin, death and pain are no more!!! When broken relationships are perfected, and there isn't any more struggling with temper or impatience. And the best part of it is that Jesus, the One Who died so we could live will be there fulfilling our longings. Making all things new, wiping our tears away, bringing ultimate healing to our hearts and bodies that will never to hurt or long again... Jesus Christ...HE is The answer for every longing heart!
If I am perfectly honest, I want my life to be smooth, without pain, inconvenience...I want my relationships to be perfect and ideal. I long for my body to be thinner, healthier and in less pain. I want my crazy hot flashes to go away and I want that pretty much yesterday ; ) I don't want to have to deal with sin issues in my life, my children's lives, family members lives or friends' lives. I don't want people to hurt my feelings. I don't want to watch a friend suffer with illness, I don't want someone I love to die...Let's just be honest, (and I am not even a dreamer kind of person), I have lots and lots of longings for things that won't ever be fulfilled this side of eternity. You have lots of longings that will never be filled here on earth.
Why is this the case? Why are we, way down deep, dissatisfied? It's because a long time ago sin entered the world and ever since then we try to fill the chasm that sin created. The world is not perfect, so it will dissapoint. Even people like me, who know and trust in Christ, have these sin-sick hearts that want to be filled and we search for fulfillment in things that can't fully satisfy. The things we want aren't necessarily wrong, they just won't usually happen for us in this imperfect place. Only One can satisfy the longings deep down in our souls.
Knowing that Christ made a way for me to get to God is amazing and everyday I seek to know and love Him more. But I have realized, my real longings, the deep desires of my heart won't be fully satisfied until the day I meet Him face to face. Oh how I long for that day! God's Word says that we will bow down and confess that He is Lord. I long to sing His praises forever. And you know what? In Revelations, the Bible says,
Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven... And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” Rev. 21
Yep, that is what I am longing for...the day when my faith will be made sight. The day when I won't be longing for anything. My sin will be gone, death will be conquered, Satan will be vanquished, everything I could have ever wanted will be fulfilled, because I and all of creation will finally be made completely new. No more pain, no more TEARS...ahhhhhh, can't even imagine. But that's where my hope is. Oh glorious day when sin, death and pain are no more!!! When broken relationships are perfected, and there isn't any more struggling with temper or impatience. And the best part of it is that Jesus, the One Who died so we could live will be there fulfilling our longings. Making all things new, wiping our tears away, bringing ultimate healing to our hearts and bodies that will never to hurt or long again... Jesus Christ...HE is The answer for every longing heart!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
My Stone of Help
I have not written for a long time...AGAIN. That is my M.O. I suppose. But, hey, I am here today. Just because I do not write does not mean that I am not constantly reflecting. But, I write today because I know I need to. I don't want to let all these thoughts and the work of the Spirit in my heart go by and have no marker by which to remember them. Here I leave a marker, my Ebenezar.
Several months ago...almost a year ago, actually, while in the midst of a huge struggle with crazy hormones and a weight gain, I was troubled in my heart. So frustrated, as I always get over the battle that is my figure. Those who know me will know that I have struggled for almost a lifetime with excess weight and have from a young age done everything in my power to keep it off. But, I have gone to extremes and in turn done some damage to my body...that is beside the point...the point is that I always strive to be thinner and am internally frustrated over my body. This causes tears and major upset in my heart at various times in my life. (Please note: I am not looking for anyone to give me their great weight loss plan that worked for them. I probably have already done it. I know I am broken, but fixing that is not the real answer that I am dealing with today). The real issue lies deep within my heart.
All those months ago, I know that God was working in my heart to have me lay down the idols of people pleasing and my need to be thinner. He worked some of that out in my heart one day when I saw a young man in a wheel chair. It was as if I could hear the LORD whispering to me, "You have nothing to complain about, Theresa. Look at that young man. He can't walk or use his hands. He needs someone to even feed him." I was brokenhearted over my vanity and my pettiness. I could clearly see at that moment that I really had so much to be thankful for and that the 30 lbs that I was crying about was really nothing. I have health, strength, and energy. I have the ability to walk, run, feed myself, hug people with my arms. I really needed to take a step back and look at the full picture to see what was really important. God worked in my heart that day to tear some of that idol down in my heart. But that is ONE LARGE idol in my life. It seemed that it was going to take more chopping to get that thing down.
Here I am again, struggling with a weight loss and and then a weight gain again. UGGGH! I feel the frustration rising, the tears, the hatred of pictures of me. I can see the idol clearly in my heart, the thing that can make my mood sour in 2 seconds. The thing that can make me hate everything and feel overwhelmed about everything. The thing that makes me unkind to my husband and children and makes me want no one to touch me or look at me. And what did the LORD do for me the other evening??...
Sitting in the restaurant with my family, I see a man in a wheel chair and I was reminded of the thing the LORD had reminded me about. I was reminded how large I make that struggle of hating my body and how it affects my every thought and action. I consciously repented in my heart, saying, "God please let me remember this. To be thankful for ALL that I do have and not what I don't have." A bit later another family came into the restaurant and sat at the table next to us. THAT man was also in a wheelchair. I laughed to myself and thought, "OK, God. I've got the message. Thanks for the reminder!"
How kind my God was to allow me to see those men the other night! He knew what that would do in my heart and how it would help me to see the big picture. He knew how seeing those precious men in their wheelchairs would help me to remember that life isn't about being the "right" size or shape. I was so thankful for those moments there in that restaurant that helped me to once again confess my sin of idolatry. The sin of coveting what I don't have, a great figure, and forgetting to be thankful for ALL that I do have. Oh, that I would remember that day when my God gave me eyes to see more clearly than I have on other days. Thank you God for being my "stone of help", my Ebenezar. I write this today as a marker to myself to remember what God would have for me: He wants me to love Him more than anything else. He wants me to get ALL my joy and hope from HIM. He wants to be the source of my joy. My joy should not be dependant on the size of my jeans, but the greatness of my God. He is my joy, my all, my life. Let me not let the noise of other things drown out the voice of what is really important.
If I spend so much time and energy being burdened down about what I don't have in my life, I cannot spend great efforts in glorifying God with what I do have today. Health, breath, arms that are strong to help those around me, legs that can move in service to my family and neighbors, eyes that can see creation and His glory, ears that can hear music that I love so much ,a voice that can praise Him!!! LET THIS BE A MARKER, a stone of help, my Ebenezar, that He has given me clarity in my mind and heart, to look to HIM and nothing else to bring me peace, satisfaction and joy inexpressible!
Several months ago...almost a year ago, actually, while in the midst of a huge struggle with crazy hormones and a weight gain, I was troubled in my heart. So frustrated, as I always get over the battle that is my figure. Those who know me will know that I have struggled for almost a lifetime with excess weight and have from a young age done everything in my power to keep it off. But, I have gone to extremes and in turn done some damage to my body...that is beside the point...the point is that I always strive to be thinner and am internally frustrated over my body. This causes tears and major upset in my heart at various times in my life. (Please note: I am not looking for anyone to give me their great weight loss plan that worked for them. I probably have already done it. I know I am broken, but fixing that is not the real answer that I am dealing with today). The real issue lies deep within my heart.
All those months ago, I know that God was working in my heart to have me lay down the idols of people pleasing and my need to be thinner. He worked some of that out in my heart one day when I saw a young man in a wheel chair. It was as if I could hear the LORD whispering to me, "You have nothing to complain about, Theresa. Look at that young man. He can't walk or use his hands. He needs someone to even feed him." I was brokenhearted over my vanity and my pettiness. I could clearly see at that moment that I really had so much to be thankful for and that the 30 lbs that I was crying about was really nothing. I have health, strength, and energy. I have the ability to walk, run, feed myself, hug people with my arms. I really needed to take a step back and look at the full picture to see what was really important. God worked in my heart that day to tear some of that idol down in my heart. But that is ONE LARGE idol in my life. It seemed that it was going to take more chopping to get that thing down.
Here I am again, struggling with a weight loss and and then a weight gain again. UGGGH! I feel the frustration rising, the tears, the hatred of pictures of me. I can see the idol clearly in my heart, the thing that can make my mood sour in 2 seconds. The thing that can make me hate everything and feel overwhelmed about everything. The thing that makes me unkind to my husband and children and makes me want no one to touch me or look at me. And what did the LORD do for me the other evening??...
Sitting in the restaurant with my family, I see a man in a wheel chair and I was reminded of the thing the LORD had reminded me about. I was reminded how large I make that struggle of hating my body and how it affects my every thought and action. I consciously repented in my heart, saying, "God please let me remember this. To be thankful for ALL that I do have and not what I don't have." A bit later another family came into the restaurant and sat at the table next to us. THAT man was also in a wheelchair. I laughed to myself and thought, "OK, God. I've got the message. Thanks for the reminder!"
How kind my God was to allow me to see those men the other night! He knew what that would do in my heart and how it would help me to see the big picture. He knew how seeing those precious men in their wheelchairs would help me to remember that life isn't about being the "right" size or shape. I was so thankful for those moments there in that restaurant that helped me to once again confess my sin of idolatry. The sin of coveting what I don't have, a great figure, and forgetting to be thankful for ALL that I do have. Oh, that I would remember that day when my God gave me eyes to see more clearly than I have on other days. Thank you God for being my "stone of help", my Ebenezar. I write this today as a marker to myself to remember what God would have for me: He wants me to love Him more than anything else. He wants me to get ALL my joy and hope from HIM. He wants to be the source of my joy. My joy should not be dependant on the size of my jeans, but the greatness of my God. He is my joy, my all, my life. Let me not let the noise of other things drown out the voice of what is really important.
If I spend so much time and energy being burdened down about what I don't have in my life, I cannot spend great efforts in glorifying God with what I do have today. Health, breath, arms that are strong to help those around me, legs that can move in service to my family and neighbors, eyes that can see creation and His glory, ears that can hear music that I love so much ,a voice that can praise Him!!! LET THIS BE A MARKER, a stone of help, my Ebenezar, that He has given me clarity in my mind and heart, to look to HIM and nothing else to bring me peace, satisfaction and joy inexpressible!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
My Beloved
I was just standing in my kitchen, listening to a wonderful song about my Great God...after a long day celebrating with sugar cookies covered in icing and M&Ms and sprinkles, lunch with "Daddy" and a dollar movie...all in honor of Valentines Day...my heart was flooded with the need to write about my TRUE Valentine!
Ever since I was a little girl, there was a pull on my heart...a tug and a call to turn to the Creator of the Universe. I followed that call and confessed my need of a Savior when I was very young. As the years went by, it became more and more clear to me, that this God Who pursued me with a call deep in my heart, was the lover of my soul. More than just knowing Jesus as the One Who laid down His life for me, my Savior, I have gotten to know Him truly as the Best Friend and truly as THE LOVE of my life.
He has wooed me with His love for so many years. From the first calls of the Spirit as a little girl, showing me of my need for a Savior to be washed of my sins...as the One Who comforted me in sadness when a boy that I thought I would marry was no longer in my life...as a Friend, a companion who kept me company in all those hours and years of loneliness and homesickness during college...through Scripture as I had a panic attack and saw and heard His words, to not be afraid for He would go with me...as He preserved my life and kept me from taking my own life during a very dark season...in the many hours of difficulty as a new teacher, when I felt like I couldn't go back one more day...during the long and seemingly endless nights of motherhood, with a crying baby and sometimes a crying me...He has been with me THROUGH IT ALL. He has strengthened me, caused me to know the depths of His love through a peace that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING...
He has written me this love letter, the Holy Bible, which meets me right where I am...sad, lonely, confused, frustrated...He has spoken words of life to me. He has constantly pursued me and shown me in His word that He is there, He will not leave me, He loves me with an everlasting love, that He bottles my tears, that my life is precious to Him and that He even thinks about me more than all the grains of sands on the shores of this great earth. He is an extraordinary lover this Jesus. He has more than filled my life with joy and hope. While my life is filled with great blessings (particularly 5 little people and a husband ladies could be jealous for ;) my greatest delight in all of life is Jesus. He really is.
And in these past few months He has been pursuing me with one of the best things I have yet been able to grasp and learn of my Savior...grace. That He loves me, not because of something I have done or not done, but just because. God accepts me because I am covered by this dear, sweet Jesus, the only One Who was ever worthy. I cannot lose His love and I can't do anything to get more of it. It is simply mine because of Christ.
I long to see His face. I long to run to His arms. This man that I have read about, Whom history books talk about, Whom the Bible teaches about, Who it is told, touched eyes of blind and ears of deaf and made them whole again. This one who stood with a woman caught in the sin of adultery and had mercy on her...forgave her. This man Who took a completely horrific beating, gave up His life on a cursed cross and had me on His mind.
I cannot wait to have my faith be made sight. I have lived my life for many days and years in a pursuit to know this Beloved of mine, Jesus. But more than that HE HAS PURSUED me and has called me His beloved, part of His bride, which is the church. I want to see Him, to eat at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb...I want to bow down before the Throne with the angels and sing, "holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty...worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive blessing and honor and glory and power forever".
There is another song, sung by Point of Grace years ago...there is a phrase in that song that I love to repeat...it says, "this Man that you have dreamed about is right before your eyes." That is My Beloved. I am His and He is mine. He never fails me, never lets me down, His is good and righteous and perfect. And He loves ME!? That is truly unbelievable!
So on this Valentines night, I am thinking of the true LOVER of my soul, the Author of Love Himself, My God, My Jesus and My Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Three in One, the perfect Love, and Valentine : )
Ever since I was a little girl, there was a pull on my heart...a tug and a call to turn to the Creator of the Universe. I followed that call and confessed my need of a Savior when I was very young. As the years went by, it became more and more clear to me, that this God Who pursued me with a call deep in my heart, was the lover of my soul. More than just knowing Jesus as the One Who laid down His life for me, my Savior, I have gotten to know Him truly as the Best Friend and truly as THE LOVE of my life.
He has wooed me with His love for so many years. From the first calls of the Spirit as a little girl, showing me of my need for a Savior to be washed of my sins...as the One Who comforted me in sadness when a boy that I thought I would marry was no longer in my life...as a Friend, a companion who kept me company in all those hours and years of loneliness and homesickness during college...through Scripture as I had a panic attack and saw and heard His words, to not be afraid for He would go with me...as He preserved my life and kept me from taking my own life during a very dark season...in the many hours of difficulty as a new teacher, when I felt like I couldn't go back one more day...during the long and seemingly endless nights of motherhood, with a crying baby and sometimes a crying me...He has been with me THROUGH IT ALL. He has strengthened me, caused me to know the depths of His love through a peace that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING...
He has written me this love letter, the Holy Bible, which meets me right where I am...sad, lonely, confused, frustrated...He has spoken words of life to me. He has constantly pursued me and shown me in His word that He is there, He will not leave me, He loves me with an everlasting love, that He bottles my tears, that my life is precious to Him and that He even thinks about me more than all the grains of sands on the shores of this great earth. He is an extraordinary lover this Jesus. He has more than filled my life with joy and hope. While my life is filled with great blessings (particularly 5 little people and a husband ladies could be jealous for ;) my greatest delight in all of life is Jesus. He really is.
And in these past few months He has been pursuing me with one of the best things I have yet been able to grasp and learn of my Savior...grace. That He loves me, not because of something I have done or not done, but just because. God accepts me because I am covered by this dear, sweet Jesus, the only One Who was ever worthy. I cannot lose His love and I can't do anything to get more of it. It is simply mine because of Christ.
I long to see His face. I long to run to His arms. This man that I have read about, Whom history books talk about, Whom the Bible teaches about, Who it is told, touched eyes of blind and ears of deaf and made them whole again. This one who stood with a woman caught in the sin of adultery and had mercy on her...forgave her. This man Who took a completely horrific beating, gave up His life on a cursed cross and had me on His mind.
I cannot wait to have my faith be made sight. I have lived my life for many days and years in a pursuit to know this Beloved of mine, Jesus. But more than that HE HAS PURSUED me and has called me His beloved, part of His bride, which is the church. I want to see Him, to eat at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb...I want to bow down before the Throne with the angels and sing, "holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty...worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive blessing and honor and glory and power forever".
There is another song, sung by Point of Grace years ago...there is a phrase in that song that I love to repeat...it says, "this Man that you have dreamed about is right before your eyes." That is My Beloved. I am His and He is mine. He never fails me, never lets me down, His is good and righteous and perfect. And He loves ME!? That is truly unbelievable!
So on this Valentines night, I am thinking of the true LOVER of my soul, the Author of Love Himself, My God, My Jesus and My Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Three in One, the perfect Love, and Valentine : )
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