My Beloved

I was just standing in my kitchen, listening to a wonderful song about my Great God...after a long day celebrating with sugar cookies covered in icing and M&Ms and sprinkles, lunch with "Daddy" and a dollar movie...all in honor of Valentines Day...my heart was flooded with the need to write about my TRUE Valentine!

Ever since I was a little girl, there was a pull on my heart...a tug and a call to turn to the Creator of the Universe. I followed that call and confessed my need of a Savior when I was very young. As the years went by, it became more and more clear to me, that this God Who pursued me with a call deep in my heart, was the lover of my soul. More than just knowing Jesus as the One Who laid down His life for me, my Savior, I have gotten to know Him truly as the Best Friend and truly as THE LOVE of my life.

He has wooed me with His love for so many years. From the first calls of the Spirit as a little girl, showing me of my need for a Savior to be washed of my sins...as the One Who comforted me in sadness when a boy that I thought I would marry was no longer in my life...as a Friend, a companion who kept me company in all those hours and years of loneliness and homesickness during college...through Scripture as I had a panic attack and saw and heard His words, to not be afraid for He would go with me...as He preserved my life and kept me from taking my own life during a very dark season...in the many hours of difficulty as a new teacher, when I felt like I couldn't go back one more day...during the long and seemingly endless nights of motherhood, with a crying baby and sometimes a crying me...He has been with me THROUGH IT ALL. He has strengthened me, caused me to know the depths of His love through a peace that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING...

He has written me this love letter, the Holy Bible, which meets me right where I am...sad, lonely, confused, frustrated...He has spoken words of life to me. He has constantly pursued me and shown me in His word that He is there, He will not leave me, He loves me with an everlasting love, that He bottles my tears, that my life is precious to Him and that He even thinks about me more than all the grains of sands on the shores of this great earth. He is an extraordinary lover this Jesus. He has more than filled my life with joy and hope. While my life is filled with great blessings (particularly 5 little people and a husband ladies could be jealous for ;) my greatest delight in all of life is Jesus. He really is.

And in these past few months He has been pursuing me with one of the best things I have yet been able to grasp and learn of my Savior...grace. That He loves me, not because of something I have done or not done, but just because. God accepts me because I am covered by this dear, sweet Jesus, the only One Who was ever worthy. I cannot lose His love and I can't do anything to get more of it. It is simply mine because of Christ.

I long to see His face. I long to run to His arms. This man that I have read about, Whom history books talk about, Whom the Bible teaches about, Who it is told, touched eyes of blind and ears of deaf and made them whole again. This one who stood with a woman caught in the sin of adultery and had mercy on her...forgave her. This man Who took a completely horrific beating, gave up His life on a cursed cross and had me on His mind.

I cannot wait to have my faith be made sight. I have lived my life for many days and years in a pursuit to know this Beloved of mine, Jesus. But more than that HE HAS PURSUED me and has called me His beloved, part of His bride, which is the church. I want to see Him, to eat at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb...I want to bow down before the Throne with the angels and sing, "holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty...worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive blessing and honor and glory and power forever".

There is another song, sung by Point of Grace years ago...there is a phrase in that song that I love to repeat...it says, "this Man that you have dreamed about is right before your eyes." That is My Beloved. I am His and He is mine. He never fails me, never lets me down, His is good and righteous and perfect. And He loves ME!? That is truly unbelievable!

So on this Valentines night, I am thinking of the true LOVER of my soul, the Author of Love Himself, My God, My Jesus and My Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Three in One, the perfect Love, and Valentine : )