My Provider, My Peace

I read this tonight, and marveled at it:

"What if we believed in the deep places, the darkest recesses, that He always provided — and not just barely, but abundantly?

Wouldn’t we always be at peace — no matter what?"

I find that I must say, "Lord, I believe, Help Thou my unbelief!" I was just thinking to myself tonight, foolishly, I know: "If fretting were against the law, I would find myself locked up in a prison, or certainly paying fines..."

I would say, I trust the Lord, I love Him, I cling to Him. He is my everything. But when push comes to shove, I cannot say that I am always at peace, "no matter what". I fret about my teeth, the cavities and the fillings and the broken tooth of this evening and the money it will cost to pay for it and the shame I face in going to the dentist for it, I worry about hospital bills and groceries, and what may come of tomorrow, how will I face this or that...I am an accomplished fretter. I do so strive to trust Him and am always in the practice of casting my cares on Him, for I know He cares for me, for praying with thanksgiving and letting my requests be made known to God. But wow! This thing does not come easily to me...

Oh, I trust Him, how I long to trust Him more. Beautiful are these words:

"The needs of our day are great but our God is greater and we call Him Providence because we believe:He is the One who always provides."

These verses are the ones listed on http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/02/what-if-we-believe-we-have-everything-we-need/ where I read these challenging, inspiring, convicting and encouraging words today.

“Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him” (Matt. 6:8).

“My God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:19).

"May God be exalted, magnified, by my glorying in His perfect provision and and may He look absolutely beautiful to all who may see me, as He becomes, more and more, my Peace". AMEN, so be it!!!!

What Good it Does to Worship Corporately!!!

Oh, what a wonderful day today was for my soul! It is a large task being a mother, yes it is. A wonderful, but large task. And any women knows that hormones at their worst are truly a curse that we are called to bear. It is true. Since I have had Karli, there are days and I can pick them out on the calendar when my body does wild and crazy things. It is harder to not cry in the challenges of the day and things that wouldn't seem hard or large, seem terrible and huge. It is just a fact of life for me.

Well, the past couple days have been those sort of days...teary, over-thinking, self condemning, that is where I have lived in my mind and heart the past few days.

The devil is a crazy character in that his devices are never-ending and if he can't get you on one accusation, he speaks his lies and seeks to destroy from a different avenue. What I mean when I say that is that the other day I was struggling to get my eyes off of a person's sin and the offense I took. So God rescued me out of that and then I swayed over to condemning myself for the ugliness I saw in my heart, the unloving ways I responded in my heart as I took offense.

So Saturday, I was sapped of my energy, even physically, as I listened to the lies that are straight from the pit of hell that say, I am condemned, no good...the Bible says otherwise. The lyrics of the song and the scripture that I posted yesterday were the rebuttal that I cling to and with which I choose to respond to the accuser, the wicked one.

This morning we were keeping the kids home from church due to sickness and one of us was going to go, long story short, due to my need for encouragement and just some time away from mommy-ing, I GOT TO GO!! Thank the Lord for a selfless husband who saw my frailty and my need this morning.

Church was so good, such a balm to my soul. We sang to the Lord and heard His wonderful words of life spoken and taught!!! We had the privilege of taking the Lord's Supper. Oh how great that was for my soul, to rehearse what He has done, how He took my place and was the final and ultimate sacrifice for my sins. He paid it all. We sang "And Can it Be?" and the final verse was meant for me, thank you Lord.

"No condemnation now I dread;

Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;

Alive in Him, my living Head,

And clothed in righteousness divine,

Bold I approach th’eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

Bold I approach th’eternal throne,

And claim the crown, through Christ my own."

The condemnation that I feel, that I try to bear is not real, it is not mine. He has done what it took. It is not my righteousness that I stand on. It is the righteousness of Christ. I cannot save myself. Only Christ can save. And oh what a Savior He is!!!!

Finally, Tim our pastor read from the book of Hebrews, wonderful words of life that encouraged me even more:

"Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, ²⁰ by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, ²¹ and having a High Priest over the house of God, ²² let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. ²³ Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, ²⁵ not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."

I must say that I am so thankful to be able to go and worship with a body of Believers in Christ. To hear the Word of God taught, to partake of Him in bread and drink. To sing praises to His Name. What good it did for my weary and discouraged soul!!! I came home renewed, rejuvenated, revived!!!

Thank you Lord for meeting me where I was and seeing my need and fulfulling it perfectly with precision!!

Oh, oh, what a beautiful Savior, is my Jesus Christ!!!

Tell Me I'm Forgiven and Loved

Tell me I’m forgiven and loved
‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests
On how God is love and how man can be clean
But my joy has been on holiday
And my peace has almost passed away
Tell me I’m forgiven and free

CHORUS
O I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation
But I bought the lie I still have work to do
Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation
But there is no condemnation in You

O whisper to me now that it’s for real
‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal
Dirty deeds have done me in
O but that can’t stop the faithful friend
Giving mercy once again as You heal
Here it is I’m feeling it

(Chorus)

O He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation
And His blood commands my guilt to leave
Now on Calvary I stand
Empty pockets, open hands
O there is no condemnation for me

(Chorus)

Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven
And child, you are loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved

These words are enough for me today.

Romans 8:1-2

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. ² For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death."

Looking Unto Jesus, Looking, Looking, Looking

I kind of talked about this a little bit last post, but oh how I need to meditate on this more and more. During that terrible chastening that I had last year, while I struggled with my own sins after being offended by other's sins, I came out with Hebrews chapter 12 as the lesson God was teaching me. "Looking unto Jesus" was what I was hearing in my head while I was overwhelmed first by the offense I felt was done against me, then during the overwhelming feelings of guilt and condemnation that I had when God showed me how wretchedly prideful I was. Both of those things, dwelling on the sins of others or the sins of myself is horribly wrong, not at all what the Lord wants me to do.

So again this week I came into a situation where I felt offended, really offended, really annoyed. You know what happens in a wretched heart like mine when I am sinned against sometimes, I then sin too. Sin beggetting sin, that is the way it goes so often in life. I hate my own sin, I can't stand how ugly I feel inside as I struggle over what someone has done or said to me.

And as I struggled over that, I got on my knees (about 30 minutes after I should have) and confessed and asked God to help me. And you know what was spoken so clearly to my heart, "Look to Jesus"! Look to Jesus!!! Such a beautifully simple answer, sometimes so hard to do. I long to remember more and more to look to Him so as I don't look to the left or to the right, to the offenses I take, to the offenses I have done, to the good I have done, to the whatever, only to Jesus, that is the only place I can look if I want to honor Him and walk in His likeness.

How could I stew and rehearse an offense if I am looking to Him? How can I wallow in self-pity and guilt when I am looking to Him? When I am looking to Him, the author, the Finisher of my faith, I can do what it takes to honor Him, to please Him. I just remember what He did for me, what He went through...looking to Jesus, it is the cure for my nasty self, the sin that so easily besets me. Oh, HALLELUJAH, WHAT A SAVIOR!!!! JESUS, WHAT A FRIEND FOR SINNERS!

Here is a wonderful work from Spurgeon, this stirs and convicts and excites my soul!!!!!:

"Looking unto Jesus."
Hebrews 12:2

It is ever the Holy Spirit's work to turn our eyes away from self to Jesus; but Satan's work is just the opposite of this, for he is constantly trying to make us regard ourselves instead of Christ. He insinuates, "Your sins are too great for pardon; you have no faith; you do not repent enough; you will never be able to continue to the end; you have not the joy of his children; you have such a wavering hold of Jesus." All these are thoughts about self, and we shall never find comfort or assurance by looking within. But the Holy Spirit turns our eyes entirely away from self: he tells us that we are nothing, but that "Christ is all in all." Remember, therefore, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee-it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that be the instrument-it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Jesus, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Jesus, the author and finisher of thy faith. We shall never find happiness by looking at our prayers, our doings, or our feelings; it is what Jesus is, not what we are, that gives rest to the soul. If we would at once overcome Satan and have peace with God, it must be by "looking unto Jesus." Keep thine eye simply on him; let his death, his sufferings, his merits, his glories, his intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look to him; when thou liest down at night look to him. Oh! let not thy hopes or fears come between thee and Jesus; follow hard after him, and he will never fail thee.

A Little Bit of Everything Today...

I am so thankful to belong to the Lord. So thankful that He lets me call Him Father, that I can go into His presence in prayer, that I can trust Him, that I can know Him...so very thankful. I love belonging to Christ...so many thoughts fill my mind on a very regular basis, things pertaining to life and my relationship with Christ and those around me. Today it seemed like I had so many reflections on different things and I just wanted to document the many things I have thought about today and the many truths that the Lord has worked in my heart this very day...

One thing is from what I read from A Holy Experience: Peace is a Person. Oh, how I loved this entry. It talked about the nature of our lives how so much seems to be pressing us and how much we feel stress, but that peace isn't necessarily a place where we reside, but moreover a PERSON, that Person, JESUS CHRIST. I love this, so much of Ann's writings are bent on this, walking intimately with the Lord, in the midst of everything, abiding so close to Him and not living in a hurried state of an emergency. She said, "Stress deceives: Life is not an emergency." I love that. So good, so true. She also said,

"Doesn’t urgency over everything imply that God’s in control of nothing?Or do we secretly like blustering about perpetually stressed — because I suppose it’s evidence of the pressing importance of the work I am doing? And yet — if I’m on edge, doesn’t that mean I’m not centered in Him?"

So in light of that, I want to be centered on Him, in the place of Peace, abiding in Him every minute.

Another thing today that was so good for my soul was a lesson that the Lord has had in the making in my heart for a long time and will have for a long time, I suppose, possibly even my lifetime. The lesson of "looking unto Jesus". Not looking so hard at my own sin or the sins of others, but to Jesus, the "author and finisher of our faith". When I get my eyes on my sin, I falter because I miss His grace, His forgiveness, the ability to walk in newness of life. I am deceived. When I get my eyes on other's sins and how they have offended me, I falter because I miss grace for them, I stumble into self-righteousness, and an unloving spirit. Focusing too much on my sins or the sins of others causes me to stumble and sin in so many ways. But focusing my eyes on Jesus, helps me to walk rightly, to step one foot in front of the other, not wavering to the left or the right. I see where I need to go, and what I need to do: I watch Him for my example. The Lord reminded me in my spirit today that the reason I was having trouble loving some people is because I have gotten my eyes off of Him. Getting my eyes back on Him in this regard, immediately. Lord, let it be so!!!!

Thirdly, I heard a statement tonight from a friend. He said that his family had a magnet on their refrigerator that read: "This house is clean enough to be healthy, but messy enough to be happy!" That is the crux of what I want my home to be, that is what I want to be. Balanced so that mess is not as distasteful to me as it seems to be right now, but that I would have wisdom and grace to know how to think rightly about my home, not to idolize cleanness, but to desire a happy, healthy home for all who dwell here...

My Everyday Valentine

Well, yesterday was Valentine's Day. It was a fun day with the kids. Mark and I got to go on a date on Saturday night and that was fun. Last night we both were tired after we got the kids home from Chick-fil-A and in bed and went back and forth about what we should do together...After going back and forth, we ended up saying that we would just go to sleep. I then felt bummed out that the night of "love" was a night of going to sleep early. I was in a little pinch and then talked to Mark about it. He said that everyday we celebrate our love for one another, and that today was just like any other day.

That really is true. We do celebrate our love for one another on a regular basis. He is always encouraging me and saying sweet things. He is faithful to me and loves me. He comes home from work and is happy to be with us. He kisses me and hugs me and lets me know he thinks I am beautiful. He devotes all of his time to me and the children. He is a joy to know. So sweet and loving to us. We enjoy coffee together almost every night, just chatting and sitting together on the couch. We laugh together, and he soothes me when I need to cry about something. He cheers me on in all my endeavors, mommy, teacher, runner! He is really a great cheerleader!! Very cute too!!!! He encourages me to walk with the Lord and listens to my babblings over what is going on in my heart and mind each day. He prays for me. He is gentle with me, he forgives me when I wrong him. I love this man dearly. He is my very best friend. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!

So in my temptation to be sour that Valentine's Day wasn't some sort of fantastic sort of evening, I remember what is really TRUE: I have a wonderful husband that I truly am in love with and who is in love with me, 365 days a year. We have been married for 11 1/2 years exactly on Valentine's Day. And those days are getting sweeter as the years go by!!! He is my Valentine, everyday!!!!

Laura Story - Grace

Looking for Change

I would say that I am always looking for change, change in me that is...lately of course this is more true as I look to slow my life down and learn to enjoy it instead of hurrying through it. I want to change the way I do things, how I walk about my home, how I think about my days activities, how I respond to the chaos of the day with many small children, how I seek to run my home, school my children, respond to their requests, and even how I love and respond to all those that come into my life.

Really this is no new thing. It is what the Spirit does in the life of one who belongs to Christ, the stirring of the heart through Spirit and the Word. No believer would say that they wouldn't want change. And as prideful as I can be in so many ways, in the same breath I see how very much I need Theresa to be changed, more conformed to the image of Christ. Oh, how I long for that! I get so sick of myself and all the things that I do that grieve the Spirit. I know it is just part of life, the life of one who calls on Christ, that fight against flesh and spirit. And I KNOW He is doing a work in me, but some days I just really want to be made perfect NOW!

I think one of the most marvelous things about going to heaven will be that the struggle against sin, against this awful flesh of mine will be over, done away with!!!! OH YES!!!! That will be a glorious day!! But until then, I must seek His face in prayer, and His Word, the word that can divide even the intents of my wicked heart. I want to be changed, but I must be committed to these things more than yesterday and the day before...

...and as He changes me, the most perfect outcome, His glory revealed, seeing the nasty wretch that I was being transformed and seeing beauty flow out of my life. I am so not beautiful naturally, and I can honestly say (even though my flesh would many times like to and does try to steal the glory) that whatever good there is in me, it is Him. I am a testimony to MYSELF of what Christ can do in a life. On a daily basis, the good things that I see, in my heart of hearts, I know it is Him coming forth, the change I so desperately long to see.

My heart is comforted in these words from Philippians 1:6:

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"

AMEN!! May it be so!!!!!!

Listen to the song that I posted. It is perfect for what my heart feels!! My God is a good God!!!

http://dalytribune.blogspot.com/2011/02/enjoying-little-things-and-little-ones.html

Some Days are Harder than Others

Some days ARE harder than others, TRUE STORY! lol! Today was one of those days. Nothing terrible to speak of, just the plain fact that I am a woman with hormones and sin.

There are days in the course of the calendar month that are just plain harder. Harder to have self-control and harder to be sweet and harder to not feel like your last little nerve is being plucked by the cutest little people God ever put on this planet. Today was it, for sure. Yes, I failed several times throughout the day. But I will say that God's grace is evident and available, but only when I ask Him for it.

On days like today, I wish it weren't so, but I forget to ask Him to help me as often as I should. I find myself overwhelmed with emotion and at times, like today when I was standing up in the attic where the children's rooms are looking at the mess we haven't cleaned this week (due to slowing things down, praying more and going to the doctor's). I could hear little people asking lots of questions about when they could use the computer and could they have another cookie...and in my hormonal madness (that is what it feels like inside on days like this), I was struggling not to cry. But I was reminded what I read on Ann's blog, "feeling one feeling at a time...thanksgiving" I was reminded to give thanks in that moment and I don't even know what I prayed or if I prayed, just remembering that gave a bit of perspective to the moment.

Mess, what is that? Nothing really. In the grand scheme of a life that is seeking to be sweet, self-controlled, loving and full of grace, that mess was meaningless and not worth the fretting I was doing about it. So now as I sit, I ask the Lord,

"Please forgive me of my fretting ways, especially those about mess...teach me to have the mind of Christ in that. Give me wisdom, more and more wisdom of how to walk in my days to do what is most needful each moment, the most needful thing to bring GLORY AND HONOR to YOU!!! Amen! SO be It!"

Another thing I think about in this meditation is those lyrics that I love so dearly, "When I forget to drink from You, I can feel the banks harden....teach me to run to YOU like they run to me for every little thing..." I want to run to Him for EVERY little thing. He is a storehouse of strength for the weak and hungered soul. Fill me up, oh Lord.

So many times people look at me in the store or doctor's office, etc. and say something like, "wow!! You have your hands full!" Or something to that effect and the thought that I always have and that I many times say is what I am thinking now, as I really have had a day where my hands have felt very full:

" My flesh and my heart fail;

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. " ~Psalm 73:26

Enjoying this Slowed Pace

This week, only 3 days so far, I have purposely slowed down, purposely rested, purposely prayed, purposely been less hurried. The outcome thus far, far more peace.

Sunday night I decided that I wasn't going to clean up the kitchen from all the mess of the dishes from our fun meal during the Super Bowl. I purposely rested with my classical music in ear on the couch with my Bible chapters for the day and my new book, One Thousand Gifts. I enjoyed that, it was sweet and it brought peace to my soul. Quiet piano music alone is sweet, add God's Word and another good book...ahhhhhh.

I slowed the week down by starting Monday morning off with just piano lessons then a trip to the library, instead of trying to plow through lots of work before the library. At the library, I changed it up a little and didn't let anyone use the computers, but just pick books and then sit and read them. So I enjoyed that because I was able to interact more with the kids doing puzzles and reading to them. This was more purposeful, less full and much more peaceful.

Our prayer times have been good the past two days, the kids and I discussing why we pray and who and what we should pray about. It hasn't been long times, but good, focusing on what is necessary, God's plans, God's will...today we specifically talked about entering into His gates with thanksgiving and gave the Lord thanks before we prayed for our list. It feels good to purposefully come to a halt in the day, to be with the Lord.

We are getting school work done, but with less hurry. Hurry feels bad, and I am very good at hurry. But hurry also gives me a knot in my stomach and death words on my tongue. I have purposed to hurry less and have been and it feels very good. I really don't know the logistics of how to make my life less hurried and still get all that "needs" to be done. That will come, I know. The same way many things have come in my life as a wife and mother, from the wisdom that God will give as I ask Him and as I seek His face. And in the meantime I am enjoying this slowed pace.

James 1:5-7 (New King James Version)⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ⁶ But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. ⁷ For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;

Grace Words

Along with making prayer a more important part of our day today, I have also been praying specifically that I would speak, "grace words". I read a quote from Ann Voskamp that went something like this, "...speak only strong words, grace words, words that make souls stronger, all other words are death words."

This spoke like a dagger to my heart because in the chaos of my day, and even when it isn't quite chaotic, my sinful soul spills over and I speak "death words". I know what I am talking about and you know too. I know when I speak and when I have spoken words with harsh tone, things unnecessary and unhelpful to the hearer, whether about them or another person, but death words to be certain.

I confess to my Father that I need to be cleansed moment by moment from a tongue that does not have on it, the "law of kindness" as it talks about in Proverbs 31. That law tells me that the words I speak should be full of GRACE, in all ways. Grace TO the one who spills the milk, TO the one who forgot what I told them to do, ABOUT the one who hurt me (knowingly or unknowingly), grace TO the cashier who is short of temper or who tells me I was crazy to have so many kids. GRACE flowing from my heart and out of my lips!!!

Oh, God, God, forgive me for the many ways I have fallen short of speaking grace words. Make me an instrument of your grace, a vessel for honor, one who speaks and imparts grace to the hearers!!! This is Your will, so be pleased in answering it, Oh, Lord!!!!

In the Precious Name of Jesus,

Amen, So be it!!!

Making Purposeful Stops

I was reading on Friday from http://www.aholyexperience.com and many things struck me...one of the things that has been penetrating my heart and mind was something I read from Ann Voskamp about making purposeful, halting stops in the day. Stops to pray, to read, to write. While I love praying, reading, writing, I find making these purposeful stops in the day very HARD. Why? I am a very unrelaxed person who finds it difficult to relax. But I ask myself: aren't these things more important that my temperament? Than what comes naturally to me? And certainly the answer is a loud resounding "YES".

The most important thing that I first want to implement this week is PRAYER, the purposeful stopping to pray, more than just at meals and more than just for a few minutes in the morning. In the form of a plan, I think I will stick to our normal morning routine, but before lunch, stop for another Bible reading and prayer. I will ask the kids what they want to pray about and discuss with them things that I think we should pray about, situations and people who need to be lifted to the Lord. I think it would be good to start a list that we can post in the house, I have had my own lists over the years, and have waxed and waned in faithfulness. But this will be a family list, that our family would be people of prayer, that we would see God's hand move and give glory to Him and that our faith would be strengthened, that my children would see first hand on a very regular basis the workings of a very living and powerful God.

As far as stopping to read and write, I have been more purposeful, thank the Lord, as of late in these things, just because I could feel God stirring in that direction. Mark and I are reading through the Bible this year and that has already been an awesome experience. I am excited about it. I have been reading more with the kids lately after lunch, just fun stuff lately, but reading is just good for their minds and just being on the couch with all of them together is good for all of our souls.

Purposeful stops, that is what I want to see this week in my life. I am excited, the best thing that I hope to get from this is a greater sense of peace in our home. That is the feel I get from reading Ann's blog, peace. Not a feigned or fake peace or conjured up from some foundationless thing...a peace that comes from walking in tune with the living God and from resting in Him. Ahhh, that sounds so good. I look forward to this week of purposeful stops. I know it will be hard for me, I know the mess will want to stop me, the school pages calling from the table, the piano lessons needing to practiced, the hamper overflowing in the hallway...but I am purposely, with the help of the Lord, going to make purposeful stops to pray through my day this week...one day at a time...

"Everything is Sacred"

For the past few months, maybe it's even been a half of a year, I have been meditating, not always purposely on the lyrics of the song, "Sacred" by Caedmon's Call. I have told them to any mother who would listen to me and have reflected on them in my heart of hearts more times than I can count. From the first lyrics, "this house is a good mess, it's the proof of life..", "teach me to run to You like they run to me for every little thing...", "when I forget to drink from You, I can feel the banks harden, Lord make me like a stream to feed the garden..." Oh the words of that song!! They have encouraged my soul ten-fold and convicted it 100-fold!!! Encouraged because it is so good to know that this chaos I call life, with lots of laundry in every basket and hamper, children crying, biting one another, juice splattered floors, and sinning against my children by being short tempered at times, is familiar and common to others, it is the real life of a mother. Convicted because I don't always run to Him for every little thing, and I do forget to drink of Him and my the banks of my life, where my children need to drink from, they do get hardened because I haven't walked closely enough with my Father. EVERYTHING IS SACRED and nothing that happens in the day is out of the Father's hand or out of His sight for that matter and it is all the things He uses...to draw me close to Him, to conform me to His image, to make me a vessel for His honor...

I have always been a journaler, but in the past so many years as a wife and mom, my efforts have not been consistent, I have been feeling that stirring in my heart that I should take the time to reflect more, to write more, to meditate through words on what the Lord is working out in my life. Today for the first time I went to a blog that I had heard about from several girlfriends called, http://www.aholyexperience.com. It was the rest of the stirring it would take to get me back up on this journey. It was there on her blog that I read the words "sacred in the chaos". The very thing the words of the song were talking to me about all these months. So as I attempted to begin journaling by blogging here, I will attempt to find the sacred in the chaos of my very wonderful life as a mom of five precious souls and the wife to one amazing man. Join me if you will on this journey...know you will most likely hear of many sorts of chaos in my heart and life, but I pray that as I reflect through this chaotic thing called my life, I will find all the sacred lessons that Christ has to teach me along the way...