When Throwing the Towel in Seems Like a Viable Option

Ever thought of that old clique, "throwing the towel in"? Just being done with what you are doing, simply because it's hard. I know there are some moms out there who have NEVER, EVER even had a moment of saying, "it's just too hard!" But that is not me. While I have NEVER, really wanted to give up, there have been many moments in my days as a mommy, that just throwing my hands up seemed like a good answer for the chaos. Do I love being a mom? YES, WHOLEHEARTEDLY!! But some minutes, hours,even some days seem difficult. Some seasons long, like the one who loves to scream "NO!" at you, or the the one who likes to contradict everything you say, or the one who just can't bring themself to try the math problem or the piano lesson, because they "can't do it!"

The baby is crying and the four year old is refusing to put on the clothes I asked her to wear, and the five year old needs the tape, and the 6 year old is pretty much over grammar for this school year and the 8 year old is struggling to learn a new math concept. And that is all going on at the EXACT same time. Oh, how I love my life! But there are fleeting, passing seconds when throwing the towel in seems like a touch of a viable option. Not really, but really. Just for that minute, just when I think I can't do it. Just when I think I can't go put that child back up in her bed again, I am so tired. I must, because she is mine and I am hers and at that moment that is the task that the LORD has given me.

Perspective is huge on a hard day. HUGE, yes, HUGE!! If I see those hard minutes as the whole of my life I get defeated. BUT if I see them as fleeting moments, quickly passing, looking to the Savior for the strength I need in my weakness, in my humanity, in my frailty, I hold tight to the towel, "NO, I am not going to throw it in!" I don't even want to. I love my life. I have such a BLESSED life. And though there is a great amount of chaos, it is a blessed chaos. The place where the grossness of my heart is revealed and where my Savior shapes me more into His image.

I read this little snippet in a devotional. I thought it was great. "So, the next time you're ready to throw in the towel and turn in your dishpan hands, remember that motherhood isn't defined by a single act or one bad day. It's cumulative: it's a thousand hugs, a thousand apologies, a thousand times you are there for your kids. You probably won't ever get credit for all you give, but he is keeping count and giving you the grace you need to continue. "

The author went on to quote 1 Cor. 9:24
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
And this was the prayer she included:
"Heavenly father, help me run with perseverance. When I get tired, encourage me. When I want to quit, carry me to the finish line. Thank you for being so faithful to me. Amen. "

Welch, Kristen (2011). Don't Make Me Come Up There! Quiet Moments for Busy Moms (Kindle Locations 281-285). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition.

I Want To Be Like Jesus

While driving in the car a couple of days ago, we were listening to some great Christian music, from Sovereign Grace Ministries, children's music that is. One of the songs said, "I want to be like Jesus..." My four-year old, sweet Norah, said, "Hey Mom, do you want to be like Jesus?". My response was of course, "Oh, yes, I want to be like Jesus!" And she said, "Me too!"
I want to be like Jesus, "to walk and talk like Jesus". Here are some more lyrics from this wonderful song:
I don’t always do what’s right

Jesus lived a perfect life

And for sins like mine He died

Teach me to obey Your Word

Help me to put others first

Holy Spirit, change my life

I want to love like Jesus, to obey the Father, to die to myself, to hate sin, to resist temptation, to be compassionate...With tears in my eyes, I write this and say, "Oh, I want to be like Jesus!!"
You know, I need to spend more time with Him. I need to learn what it means to abide with Him, to walk closely.
Several times since that first day, Norah has talked about being like Jesus. She said to me yesterday. "I want to be like Jesus, because He is kind." Oh sweet girl, I want to be kind like Jesus too.

Let a focus of my heart today be this, to be like Jesus, to do as He says, to follow hard after my Lord:
. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
~Ephesians 4:29-32

What Does it Look Like to Abide?

The meditation that was brought to my mind and heart in this form was about a month ago:

" Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me."~ John 15:4

My heart so longs to abide with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. My mind and my heart both ask, "what does that look like?" "how do I do that?" . I want my Lord to be glorified, I want to bear much fruit...

So today, let abiding look like this:
~Reading my Bible, for devotional purposes and for my daily chronological reading...

~Praying with the children, for meals, for ailments, for struggles with behavior and attitudes...

~Praying without ceasing, especially as I am constantly tempted to worry or fret about a multitude of things...

~listening to sermons and good music as the day allows...

~Confessing and repenting of my sins, as quickly as I do them...

~Counting my gifts and giving thanks to the Giver of all good things...

~Giving thanks in the hard places of the day: when babies cry, when children fight, when the floor is full of crumbs and sticky spots from juice splatters...

John 15:1-10

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will[b] ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
Love and Joy Perfected


9 “As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

Adding Up My Blessings

65. telling a friend that you lost something they gave you, and they aren't even angry
66. going to the dentist and hearing much better news than you thought
67. kissing turkey on my girls' lips and laughing our heads off
68. my husband taking time, coming home from work, so that I could go to the doctor
69. homeschooling moms who have gone before me, whom I can glean from
70. a comfortable bed
71. a school room
72. bloggers who share their life, their thoughts, and ideas!!
73. that in my weakness, there His strength is made perfect
74. that I am brought through trials so that I can share and help and comfort with the comfort I have been comforted
75. watching my husbands dreams slowly come to fruition
76. tired eyes that will be able to be rested in a few minutes
77. reading stories to cute little girls
78. kind people
79. being greeted by someone with genuine warmth
80. when my husband vacuums up a mess that the baby made, comet cleaser all over!!

Finding the Sacred in the Chaos

Well, like I always say, the course of life ebbs and flows and for natural reasons, some days are harder than others. Some days are full of sweet grace, ease of temper, smooth runnings. Other days are filled with little ones bickering, disciplining souls, including my own, and what feels like just plain chaos.
This week, I had a day that was difficult, a crying little one with a terrible cold, yucky cough and snotty nose, couldn't seem to survive without me touching her. There I was, teaching Levi piano, while holding the screaming little one, who seem to want to get down, but then when I put her down, she didn't want to get down...I sat there thinking, "How do I give thanks, that 'eucharisto', with a screaming baby and a group of little people with many needs and wants surrounding me?" I gulped back the lump forming in my throat. I moved to the couch to read books with the crying little one, when 2 more little girls come crying to me, telling me about their most recent argument. While I solve and discipline the little ones, one accidently whacks me in the face, huh? I start crying, it was the last straw. It wasn't so much the pain of the kick to the face, it was the culmination, the peak of the 'stress', the straw that broke this proverbial camel's back.
How do I give thanks in this chaos, this messy moment of my life, where I struggle to remain calm, to be sweet, to be strong, to be consistent, to abide in the Vine? I call out to the mountains, from whence comes my help, My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth. This wisdom I found this day was: fun, finding fun in the middle of the chaos, making a moment that would live forever in our hearts...moving on from the hard, necessary parts to the sweet and precious spots...
Here is what came of our day:








We had a good time, told a few stories, ate pb&j and cookie dough. But the best part was that we had fun and we enjoyed one another and the moment of just being together. I want to drink in all those times, all those things, every second that I can. I want to zip my lip when I am tempted to complain because the days get hard. I want to learn how to be more consistent, by God's grace, to be the mom I want to be and I want to grow in Him and abide in Him and thank Him for every precious second I get to live this life with these five wonderful little beings. "Oh God help me to always find the sacred in the chaos of my life, to give thanks in all things, for this is Your will."

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18