Ever thought of that old clique, "throwing the towel in"? Just being done with what you are doing, simply because it's hard. I know there are some moms out there who have NEVER, EVER even had a moment of saying, "it's just too hard!" But that is not me. While I have NEVER, really wanted to give up, there have been many moments in my days as a mommy, that just throwing my hands up seemed like a good answer for the chaos. Do I love being a mom? YES, WHOLEHEARTEDLY!! But some minutes, hours,even some days seem difficult. Some seasons long, like the one who loves to scream "NO!" at you, or the the one who likes to contradict everything you say, or the one who just can't bring themself to try the math problem or the piano lesson, because they "can't do it!"
The baby is crying and the four year old is refusing to put on the clothes I asked her to wear, and the five year old needs the tape, and the 6 year old is pretty much over grammar for this school year and the 8 year old is struggling to learn a new math concept. And that is all going on at the EXACT same time. Oh, how I love my life! But there are fleeting, passing seconds when throwing the towel in seems like a touch of a viable option. Not really, but really. Just for that minute, just when I think I can't do it. Just when I think I can't go put that child back up in her bed again, I am so tired. I must, because she is mine and I am hers and at that moment that is the task that the LORD has given me.
Perspective is huge on a hard day. HUGE, yes, HUGE!! If I see those hard minutes as the whole of my life I get defeated. BUT if I see them as fleeting moments, quickly passing, looking to the Savior for the strength I need in my weakness, in my humanity, in my frailty, I hold tight to the towel, "NO, I am not going to throw it in!" I don't even want to. I love my life. I have such a BLESSED life. And though there is a great amount of chaos, it is a blessed chaos. The place where the grossness of my heart is revealed and where my Savior shapes me more into His image.
I read this little snippet in a devotional. I thought it was great. "So, the next time you're ready to throw in the towel and turn in your dishpan hands, remember that motherhood isn't defined by a single act or one bad day. It's cumulative: it's a thousand hugs, a thousand apologies, a thousand times you are there for your kids. You probably won't ever get credit for all you give, but he is keeping count and giving you the grace you need to continue. "
The author went on to quote 1 Cor. 9:24
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.
And this was the prayer she included:
"Heavenly father, help me run with perseverance. When I get tired, encourage me. When I want to quit, carry me to the finish line. Thank you for being so faithful to me. Amen. "
Welch, Kristen (2011). Don't Make Me Come Up There! Quiet Moments for Busy Moms (Kindle Locations 281-285). Abingdon Press. Kindle Edition.
Spurred on by the Spirit and others to write...my heart, my struggles, my life, my chaos, and to find that EVERYTHING is SACRED...finding the sacred in the chaos of real life, for the glory of God.
Sometimes I feel the same way- how am I supposed to do this when all my efforts are foiled!? But I think that the Lord does and will give us insight when we ask... and most of the time it's almost not about them at all, but about what He wants to change in me. And I sure need changing...
ReplyDeleteIt's always about how He wants to change us isn't it?! All for His glory and His honor. Even though we need to teach our children to love and obey, we need to love and obey our Heavenly Father in the process. Oh, how I long to obey, to abide in His love, to bear much fruit!!May He be pleased to do those things in our lives. AMEN!
ReplyDeleteYour words are written as if you were peeking into my own heart. I have found that being a mom is really God's way of molding me to be more like Him. I want to be a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit ready to hear His words and absorb His words and do His will. Even this week, which is proving to be a challenging one, when I find day after day to to be difficult I realize as I linger in His Word for strength and guidance and talk with you, my ever-encouraging and loving friend, that I am being too loud. I am filling the space with noise. Noise of selfishness, noise of pride, noise of discontentment, noise of impatience. When I don't have a quiet and gentle spirit I can't hear Him. When I am quiet I am a better example, I am a better friend, I am a better wife, I am a better mom.
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