Saying "It Is Well"

Standing in church, tears streaming...it's been a long month. A month filled with lots of good things...family, friends, fun, lots and lots of fun, especially for the children. I was away from home for a month and though my intentions were good about staying close to the Lord, I fell quite hard and quite fast.

Being away from home changed our days, no Scripture memory at all meals, no Bible time at night, no Bible because I left it at a family member's home... well...all this mixed with what seemed to be a dark cloud hanging over my head, no other explanation...I fell there in NJ, didn't abide with my Lord, wasn't talking with Him much and was never hearing from His Word. That changes things, changes the perspective on the world when you aren't looking through the lens of His Word. I said things I shouldn't have, thought things I wish I hadn't and wandered from the place I longed to be, walking with my Savior intimately...

This conversation can take all sorts of directions, like grace, mercy, forgiveness and I have thought long and hard on these things and I am thankful for my God and the forgiveness and grace He so freely offers when we wander from His ways.

But today, I am want to dwell on saying, "it is well". As we came home from NJ, one little sweetie started the beginnings of what would be a long week of sickness in our home, fevers, headaches, tummy aches...not a very kind illness either. My home is under construction and quite a mess, my children are sick and my spirit is tired from wandering a month. But I am convicted and challenged to say, "It is well with my soul". I want to say, "it is well" when my 2 year old is crying and wants to be held continually (not that I will hold her continually). I want to say, "it is well" when I look at the mess of construction in my home. I want to say, "it is well" if the Lord allows my children to be sick for days on end. I long to say "it is well with my soul" no matter what comes into my life.

I confess, dear Lord that I have not been faithful to You. I have not sweetly accepted the cup that You have given me over the past so many days. I have grumbled, complained, been unthankful, ugly-hearted, unkind. Please forgive me, Lord. I know You will. You are faithful, even when I am faithless. Thank You, dear Lord. Thank you. Give me grace to say, "it is well", in everything, in every hour, everyday. Amen. So be it!!!